


Binary Suns

by Twisted_Mirror



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Jedi Academy (Star Wars), Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, Bullying, Creepy Snoke (Star Wars), Developing Relationship, Dreams and Nightmares, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Evil Snoke, F/M, First Kiss, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Dyad (Star Wars), Force Visions, Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Sex, Jedi, Jedi Ben, Jedi Ben Solo, Movie: Star Wars: The Last Jedi, New Jedi Order, Nightmares, Not Canon Compliant - Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Post-Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Post-Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Post-Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Redeemed Ben Solo, Romance, Soul Bond, Soulmates, The Force, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey (Star Wars), Young Ben, Young Ben Solo, Young Rey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-07
Updated: 2020-03-13
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:40:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22596436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Twisted_Mirror/pseuds/Twisted_Mirror
Summary: Young Ben Solo meets a young Rey. The two form an intense and instant attachment to the confusion of Ben's parents and his Uncle, Jedi Master Luke Skywalker. What is a dyad and what will it mean for two children who have found belonging in each other?Written for The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology Valentine's Day exchange
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey & Ben Solo, Rey & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren, Rey/Ben Solo, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 18
Kudos: 184
Collections: For one is both and both are one in love: The Reylo Fanfiction Anthology's Valentine's Day Exchange





	1. Students of the force

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gigi_marlee](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gigi_marlee/gifts).



> This story is inspired by the prompt I was assigned for the collection.  
> It is a 'what if' Ben and Rey had met when they were children. At the start of Chapter One, Ben is 16 years old and Rey is 6 years old. I decided to keep the canon age difference and tie things in to The Last Jedi.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A troubled young Ben Solo training at Luke's Academy meets a young orphan girl strong in the force.

**Prologue**

Red, that was the first thing that Rey noticed. Red everywhere, as though they were inside a bleeding wound; Snoke at the centre. She tried to steady her fraught nerves as Kylo marched her into the large room. Her legs felt weak, her stomach fluttered and nausea took hold of her. She tried to reach out to the force, let it steady her. She needed to trust it, trust the vision that it had shown her. Snoke was sat hunched on his dark grey throne, clad in a gold corded auropyle robe, slippered feet sticking out from the robe’s skirts. His injury ravaged face glared down at her with a smirk. The air around them felt like darkness and decay. He waved his wrinkled hand, covered in paper thin skin, and using the force loosened Rey’s bonds. They clattered to the floor, the metal echoing across the silent room.

“Come closer, child,” he said.

She stood her ground, taking steadying breaths, clinging to the force as a lifeline. She could sense Ben behind her, but he was closed off.

“So much strength,” Snoke continued, his tone almost jubilant. “Darkness rises, and light to meet it. I warned my young apprentice that as he grew stronger, his equal in the light would rise.”

He waved his hand again, and summoned Anakin Skywalker’s lightsabre from Kylo’s grasp. It shot across the room and landed in Snoke’s wizened hand. He turned the lightsabre over in his hands, almost admiringly.

“Skywalker, I assumed,” he admitted. “Wrongly.”

He placed the weapon down on the wide armrest.

“Closer, I said.”

She tried to resist him, but Snoke using his powers, dragged her across the smooth floor, her boots barely skimming the surface. Kylo kept his eyes down, he had to use everything he had within him to stay focused. Snoke could not get in, everything depended upon it. He could feel Rey’s mind and body invaded by Snoke, he instantly pushed the anger down, quenching it with his focus.

“You underestimate Skywalker, and Ben Solo, and me. It will be your downfall.”

Kylo briefly flicked his glance upwards. Even after bringing her to Snoke, she still defended him. She still believed in Ben Solo.

“Oh?” Snoke asked, his tone now mocking and malicious. “Have you seen something? A weakness in my apprentice? Is that why you came? It is I who bridged your minds.”

Kylo looked up again, still trying to keep an impassive look upon his face. Inside however, pain and confusion overwhelmed him, and he knew that Snoke could feel it to. Snoke did not care, in fact he revelled in it. Snoke ignored him and almost gleefully dragged Rey even closer to him. Kylo felt sick to his stomach as Snoke held Rey in his hand.

“And now you will give me Skywalker,” he told her. “Then I will kill you with the cruellest stroke.”

Snoke threw her across the room, holding her mid-air. Using the darkness, he exploded into her mind, causing pain to tear through her. She felt as though she were being torn apart atom by atom.

“Give me everything,” Snoke commanded.

Rey’s body contorted with pain, her screams filling the air. Kylo looked up and watched, feeling the pain consume her.

**Chapter One**

Thirteen Years Earlier The young man sat on the floor of the wooden hut, cross legged and eyes closed. His dark hair flopped over his pale face that had not quite grown into its features. Tall and lanky and a little awkward, with large ears sticking out from his mane of hair. Gundark, some of the older boys had called him, and still did. The nickname had been the reason he had begun to grown his hair out; desperately trying to cover his ears, deny it though he might. Shaking those memories off he rested his hands upon his knees as he took deep breaths, filling his lungs with air. He reached out with the force and levitated his belongings in front of him. He had been able to sleep again, as dark dreams had haunted his nights, chasing him through the shadows of slumber. Cruel voices that whispered to him, striking when he was alone or feeling inadequate. Incidents of which seemed to grow more and more frequent. He had tried talking to his Uncle Luke about it, but he had always shrugged it off. Told him it was nothing to be worried about, that it was a Jedi’s destiny to face his fear. He knew it had worried his mother and still did. His mother who had always been on the lookout for any trace of darkness in him.

He remembered the day he had left with Luke to train, to become a Jedi. The night before he had heard his parents arguing, again. They argued as though he were not there, but he could hear every word. Leia feared him, what he could become. He had not understood though, he had not done anything wrong had he? He had wanted to be like his father so much, a daring pilot and smuggler. When it was obvious that he was force sensitive however, he had thought that maybe they would be happy, he had the same power as Luke. People however, had gradually began to treat him differently, especially after the dreams had started. His dad had tried to help the best he could, though he couldn’t understand it, but he remembered seeing the fear in his mother’s eyes. When Leia decided Ben was to leave with Luke, Han had not wanted him to go. Ben could not understand why, he just wanted to make everyone happy, be proud of him. That day he had left, he had felt a massive surge in the force, one he could not fathom. A piece of him had broken away, from deep within. He had tried to explain it to Luke, Luke who had put it down to the upheaval of leaving home. He remembered his father’s stony face and his mother’s look of resignation as he had said goodbye. “Don’t forget kid, me and Chewie will always need an extra hand on the Falcon if you want to come home,” Han had said kneeling before him, before hugging him tightly. He couldn’t let them down though, he had to be a Jedi like Luke.

Meditating helped him cope, quieted his mind, focused him on the here and now. He reached out now further into the force, shaking away the memories he had been focusing on. Letting it flow through him, all of it, he could feel the cosmos talking back. It was as though it were reassuring him. Sometimes he though he could feel another presence, one full of light answer him, though it was faint and far away. Not like the presence he felt in his dreams, the shadow that made him feel cold and scared. This made him calm and warm, though he belonged. Letting everything else but the force melt away, he felt the stars and their infinite light, the worlds surrounding them, the force binding them all together. A thread through them all, a cosmic tapestry. He let go, feeling as though his body were weightless, a speck in the universe. No pressure, no expectations, he was just Ben, here and now.

Everything around him began to shift and pulse, the force positively humming around him. Stars faded away and were replaced with hazy images, nothing was clear. He heard a voice, it sounded like a woman talking. He tried to focus on what she was saying, for she sounded far far away, across the stars.

“Show me,” she whispered.

He could not see her face but he could see her in the mirror, a blurry outline, and a hand reaching out. He instinctively reached his hand out to her but she was gone and he felt cold suddenly. Snow swirled around him, the icy bitterness reaching his bones. He was in a forest he did not recognise; on a world he did not know.

“Monster!”

Her voice again. A flash of blue caught the corner of his eye and came swinging down upon him, he dived out of the way reaching for his own. He couldn’t see his assailant and stumbled onto the ground. Sensing another attack coming, the buzz of the sabre ringing in his ears, he raised his arms and cried out.

“Stop please!”

“Ben?! What’s wrong?”

That voice he knew, Voe.

Slowly opening his eyes, he realised he was sprawled across the floor of his hut, covered in sweat, shielding himself from a non-existent attacker. The young woman looked down upon him, with a mixture of concern and amusement reflecting in her clear grey eyes. He slowly lowered his arms, and the objects that had been held in stasis in the air around him dropped to the floor.

“Oh…erm hi Voe.”

“Ben, are you…okay?”

She still looked concerned. He sighed inwardly. Why did she always look at him as though he were a problem, a rival? She constantly looked for ways to outdo him and then felt ashamed at her thoughts. He believed that it was his own fault, a darkness about him that reached others.

“I was just training…you know?”

Voe raised an eyebrow at him, her arms folded as though not completely convinced.

“You are already the star pupil, you dont have to train all the time,” she said in exasperation.

“How are you? Are you okay?” he tried to change the subject.

Even to himself he sounded like an idiot; he felt his cheeks blush. He gave her a lopsided grin and shrugged his shoulders. Voe always made him blush a little when she spoke to him. She was a couple of years his senior and striking to look at. Dark golden skin and a shock of white wavy hair. She was confident, talented, full of compassion and humour. He had always liked her, but so did every other human male there. Yet he knew that she viewed him as a rival, always trying to outmatch him. She was jealous of his abilities though Luke treated them all the same with no favouritism. He constantly tried to win her over but the more he tried the less she seemed to like him, the more she distrusted him. He was begining to think he should shut himself away, he clearly didn't belong. He did not have the same easy comradarie as the other pupils. Maybe he had when they were younger, but now things were changing.

“Well hurry up, Master Skywalker is back and he’s bought something with him!”

Interest piqued he got to his feet and followed her from the hut. They both ran across the green field of lush grass to where Luke’s ship had landed, steam still hissing from the engines.

Luke stood at the bottom of the ship’s ramp, clad in his dark robes. Ben noted that he looked tired, but relieved to be home. The rest of the pupils had gathered round to greet their Master, interested in where Luke had been and what he had to tell them. Luke smiled fondly in greeting as he saw his nephew.

“Uncle Luke, you’ve been gone ages,” said Ben. “What happened?”

“I hit a few snags along the way…and I’ve acquired a new friend.”

He looked down behind him and spoke softly to someone, gesturing gently with his hands.

“It’s okay, you can come out.”

Ben was surprised when a small elfin face peered from behind Luke’s robes, looking up at them all. A small murmur went through the students. It was a small human girl. She fixed her narrow hazel eyes upon Ben and stared at him intently. Ben felt a peculiar pull in the force, that same feeling he had felt the day he had left home. It was stronger this time, causing him to gasp. Luke watched Ben carefully, sensing something he did not understand, and looked back down at the girl. The small child carried on staring at Ben, her little nose scrunched up in concentration. Luke had an uneasy feeling, but did not know why.

Voe was the first to step forward. She knelt down in front of the girl who had ventured a little more from behind Luke’s robes.

“Hello.”

The little girl looked at Voe, unsure and a little nervous. Ben could feel her uncertainty through the force, her fear, but also her strength. Voe held her hand out.

“I’m Voe, what’s your name?”

Luke gently nudged the girl forward. She gingerly took Voe’s hand, her small fingers clutching on to the older girl.

“I’m Rey.”

The girl’s voice was quiet but assertive, making Ben smile a little. Ben felt a nudge in his side.

“Someone’s made Gundark smile, praise the maker.”

Hennix, joking around as usual. Ben ignored him but his smile had gone. He knew Hennix was not malicious but it made Ben feel as though he were not good enough. Luke caught the exchange, frowning, the lines on his face deepening. Tai shot a look of annoyance back at Hennix before introducing himself to their new companion.

“Welcome to your new home Rey.”

Rey smiled at Voe, but then looked back at Ben, her smile dropping. Her eyes studying him, piercing and searching for an answer she didn’t understand.


	2. Bonded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young Ben and young Rey begin to develop a bond through the force that neither them nor Luke understand. All the while a dark shadow lurks.

Rey settled in quickly at the academy, her open, inquisitive nature grew on everyone. The only one that stayed out of her way, was Ben. He did not know what it was, but she had a way of looking at him that felt as though she saw right through him, deep down to his very being. She never smiled at him, just stared. Ben sat at the rear of his hut in the shade, his back leant against the wooden panels. His eyes were closed as he let the cool breeze caress his face. The other students were eating, but he had not felt hungry.

‘Surrounded by people, but still alone.’

That voice in his head mocking him.

“Leave me alone,” he whispered.

He’d tried to contact his mother on Chandrila, but she’d been busy in a republic meeting. His father was away on a job with Lando so he couldn’t reach him. He sighed, rubbing his head. Ever since he could remember a shadow haunted him, he couldn’t explain it or define it but it was there. He was fighting a constant battle with himself. He sometimes wondered whether he was mad, hearing voices.

"Who are you talking to?”

A little voice interrupted him. He opened his eyes to find Rey standing in front of him, watching him curiously. Ben rolled his eyes and rested his arms across bent knees.

“Who were you talking to?” she asked again, persisting.

“Nobody,” he mumbled.

“Yes, you were, I heard you,” she crossed her arms, scowling at him.

He fixed her with what he thought was a harsh scowl but she just stared back. He laughed inwardly at her stubborn nature.

“Why didn’t you come to lunch?”

“You sure ask a lot of questions, don’t you?” he replied, his face softening.

She shrugged and without asking him sat down at his side.

They sat quietly for a few minutes; Ben unsure as to why she had chosen to sit with him. She pulled a small white loaf from the pocket in her small white robes. She was about to bite in to it, then had second thoughts and held it out to him. Though he had begun to feel hungry, looking at her small skinny frame, he thought she needed it more. He shook his head, noting her face drop.

“No, you eat it.”

He added a small smile, trying to reassure her. She just nodded and bit into the bread, chewing happily. He closed his eyes again, for the voice had gone, and the shadow that was there had faded away.

‘Curious.’

He felt himself begin to relax; a small smile danced across his lips. She chattered away to him, he just listened. Nodding and humming in response.

“It’s nice here,” she said crossing her legs, resting her chin upon her hands. “The people here are nice too, not like where I was before.”

He opened his eyes and turned to look down on her, a shadow had fallen across her expression. She looked lost, sad and alone.

“Where were you before?”

He knew basic details from Luke but wanted her version of her own story.

“Somewhere hot, lots of sand. My parents left me there.”

His heart went out to her, he could feel her pain through the force, it almost made him breathless.

“They’ll be back though, they promised.”

Ben did not want to break her already aching heart, but he did not want to see her disappointed.

“Rey, how will they find you?”

“Master Luke said he would leave a message for them, they'll come,” she said firmly, no doubt in her voice at all.

Ben said nothing, her face literally radiated the hope she felt inside. He knew in that moment though he did not know why, that he did not want this girl to be alone. That he would look out for her and be there for her where he could, he could be her family.

“Well Rey, we’ll look after you until your family find you.”

He held out his hand and she took it without hesitation. Neither one was prepared for what happened. Ben felt a huge surge through the force filling them both and a bright light, full of life and warmth filled his chest. He gasped at the feeling and her eyes widened too. He suddenly saw another place, another time; an island, craggy and green. Rough, cold waters crashed against the rocks, there was a stone temple built into the island. He could almost feel the clouds, feel the salt spray on his face. He could see someone standing there, but it began to blur he could not see who it was. He felt a sense of peace and belonging, then it was gone and he was left with the small girl looking up at him bewildered, her tiny hand still in his. He let go, staring at his own hand in wonder, before looking back at her.

“What was that?”

Her voice sounded small, worried and a little in awe.

“I’m not sure,” he replied. “I think that the force was trying to show us something.”

What that was exactly, was another question entirely.

After that day, Rey would follow Ben everywhere to everyone’s confusion. What was stranger, was that the often sullen, quiet Ben did not seem to mind. She became his unofficial shadow, walking in his footsteps. It would amuse people how she would chatter away at him, him barely responding except with the odd nod of the head or a simple yes or no. Ben did not mind her company for he found that when he was with her, the voices and the shadows diminished. He did not feel as isolated as he had. Something about her presence… Rey was a bright student and learned quickly. Luke had watched her with interest, and a small dose of concern. He could sense raw strength in her, pure and unadulterated. Only one other student had displayed that same power. Interesting that they seemed to be so bonded.

Rey had been there for two months before it happened. Ben was lying awake in his hut, staring up at the wooden ceiling when he felt it. A dark gloom tugged at his chest, pressed in on his mind with an aching loneliness that he was familiar with. A loneliness that echoed and amplified his own. He sat up, he could hear someone crying, no he could feel them crying. Pushing the blanket off him, he sat up reaching out with the force. He knew who it was. He felt his hut and went outside, the cool night air refreshing and clear. Countless stars painted the obsidian sky as the silhouette of the temple created a black outline against the sky. He walked over to the small hut on the other side of the field, the blades of grass tickling his bare feet. Sitting outside, he found Rey, head buried within her arms and her knees tucked up. Though he approached silently, she must have sensed him for she looked up. The starlight reflected upon her small, tear-stricken face; her eyes were red from rubbing them. She sniffed with a sigh, but he sensed her relief at seeing him. He sat next to her.

“Hey kid, what’s wrong?” he asked kindly.

She sniffed again and wiped her cheek with her arm.

“There was a monster,” her voice sounded so small, his heart clenched at his pain. “He was chasing me.”

“It was just a dream, you’re safe here,” he said, though he knew how real dreams could be, how they could make you doubt everything.

“He was wearing a scary mask and chasing me in a forest,” she continued getting more upset. “I couldn’t move, it was like I was stuck.”

“There’s no monster here Rey, you’re safe.”

“There was a voice too, laughing at me, he hurt me.”

She began to cry again.

“Nobody here will hurt you,” Ben tried his best to sound reassuring but he felt unsettled.

“They hurt you,” she said solemnly, looking up at him. “Don’t listen to them Ben.”

“Who?”

“The monsters.”

Those words made him grow cold, a sense of trepidation took hold.

“Everything okay?” a voice interrupted them, as a sleepy looking Luke approached.

Ben’s attention was drawn from Rey.

“She’s had a nightmare,” he explained.

“Ah little Rey, we all get bad dreams from time to time,” said Luke patting Rey’s head.

“It was real,” she frowned.

Luke raised his eyebrow at her earnest retort and crouched down next to her.

“They can feel like it at times,” he said warmly. “Just reach out with the force like you’ve been practising. Reach out to the ground, the sky, the plants, to what is real.”

Ben had heard Luke give him similar advice in the past, it had one time used to work. Rey just nodded, trusting the older Jedi’s words.

“Try and go back to sleep Rey.”

Rey still look worried, the dark shadows reflected in her hazel eyes.

“Don’t worry sweetheart,” said Ben with a lopsided grin that always reminded Luke of Han. “I’ll wait out here until you fall asleep. No monsters will get you.”

Luke looked at Ben in surprise but said nothing. Rey seemed happy with that prospect, so nodded, picked herself up and trotted back into the hut. After she had gone, Luke could sense that something still bothered his nephew.

“What is it?”

Ben looked up at him, worry etched across his face.

“What if it was real? What if it was a vision or a warning?”

Luke sighed slightly as he got back on his feet, dusting off his clothes.

“Ben we’ve been over this, not every dream is a vision. Some dreams are just that, a dream.”

His uncle was calm, but Ben could still detect a slight exasperation behind the words.

“She’s very young, she was abandoned; she had strong force abilities, she must be very confused inside. That can translate into her dreams, its normal. We don’t know the full extent of what she went through before coming here.”

Ben knew that there was no point in arguing with his Uncle so just nodded.

“You don’t have to wait out here,” said Luke.

“I know, but I promised.”

Luke just nodded and began to walk away before a question arose.

“How did you know that she was having a nightmare? I sensed nothing.”

Ben just shrugged, wondering himself.

“I just knew.”

Luke said nothing but looked at his nephew, his skin and lanky form reflecting the moonlight. The light casting silver highlights in his raven hair, his eyes dark and deep, soul apparent. He nodded and carried on his way, mulling things over.

−

Ben found that his nightmares had lessened somewhat since Rey had arrived in their lives. He could not explain why or how but he had felt the most like his true self for a long time. This did not mean that the voices had gone completely. They were still there, niggling in the background, chewing at his subconscious. The biggest notice he felt was on one occasion when he travelled off world with Luke, Hennix and Tai. Luke discovered through his research with Lor San Tekka that Kyber crystals could be found on the planet of Lothal. It was time for some of the pupils to construct their sabers so Luke had taken them to find their crystal. The planet, being situated in the outer rim took a couple of days travel. During the voyage Ben slept in the back of the ship, the Verity, while they took it in turns to co-pilot. His sleep was restless, fitful. He felt something eating away at him, it was different this time. It was trying to warn him against something, he just did not know what. The feeling got stronger the further they got from the Jedi Academy. It kept telling him that he didn’t belong that he could trust nobody. People feared him and his potential, they would eradicate him, betray him. He awoke in a cold sweat.

“What’s wrong?” Luke asked standing in the doorway. #

Ben shook his head, sitting up from the bunk.

“Nothing.”

−

Rey sat on the bench outside her hut watching the blue skies for any sign of Luke’s ship. She had missed Ben, for they had been gone five days. Since he had been gone, she had not felt the same and that confused her. Everyone was so nice to her but she felt out of place, except when Ben was there. Her nightmares had returned in his absence, that monster always chasing her. A voice kept talking to her about power and using words she did not understand. She just wanted it to stop. The tall white-haired girl called Voe came and sat with her.

“Did you not want to play today?” Rey shook her head, still looking at the sky.

“I’m waiting,” she said.

Voe looked at the small girl, knowing how attached she were to Ben, puzzled by the attachement.

“Master Skywalker will be back any day now,” she reassured. “Why don’t you come and have something to eat.”

Rey’s face lit up at the prospect of meal time and happily followed Voe to the dining room where two wooden tables were set up. Sitting herself next to the older girl she tucked into her meal, not hearing the ship land outside.

“I see we timed our arrival well,” a voice spoke out across the room.

The students called out in greeting as Luke and his travelling companions entered. Voe could not help but notice how tired and drawn Ben looked. Ben could feel Rey’s relief at seeing him, making him smile. As he walked over to her table, Elodie one of the oldest students tried to make a joke.

“Your girlfriends missed you,” he teased, chuckling to himself.

Tai kicked him under the table and Voe rolled her eyes. Boys, so immature at times. Ben ignored the comment and sat down.

“How did it go?” Voe asked, watching Ben's face for any sign of difficulty or failure.

Ben grinned as he scooped some of the cooked grains into his wooden bowl.

“Hennix and I both got our Kyber crystals,” the excitement in his voice made her smile. “We can construct our sabers now.”

This was a big moment for pupils at the academy. Voe, Ayla and Elodie were the only ones to have completed that task so far. Now it was Ben and Hennix’s turn.

“Can I see it?” Rey asked excitedly.

Ben reached into his brown robe and pulled out what looked like a clear rock, both jagged and smooth. He held it out for Rey to see and was surprised when she pulled a face.

“It’s so plain,” she complained. “I thought it would be colourful.”

The table laughed at her observation.

“It will change colour when I build my lightsabre,” Ben explained.

“Can I hold it?” she asked, seemingly over the disappointment of the colour.

Ben nodded and held it out to her open hand. Dropping it in her hand she closed her fingers around it and for a second both of them felt a hum through the force. Startled Rey dropped the crystal on to the table where it clattered and bounced before Ben caught it. Ben said nothing, feeling the eyes of the others watching, their chatter muted. He popped it back into his pocket and gave Rey a reassuring smile.

“When will I get mine?” Rey asked eventually, once the awkward silence had passed.

“Not yet little one,” said Ben kindly.

“But when?”

“When you’re old enough to face the tests,” explained Luke.

“I can do it now!”

Everyone laughed at her enthusiasm and confidence in herself. Tai gave Ben a knowing look, both remembering how impatient they had been to get theirs.

“I’m sure you could little one,” smiled Luke warmly.

−

Luke sat in front of the holo projector set up in the Verity, the face of his sister before him glowing blue. She had not changed much since he had first met her; her face held a few extra lines and her dark hair was flecked with a little grey, but she was still beautiful. Beautiful and strong.

“The smaller worlds gladly joined the Republic, most likely hoping for extra protection. Rumours of the First Order growing expanding in the Outer Rim are growing. Not everyone believes that they will stick to the treaty,” she explained with a sigh. “Bigger worlds like Corellia and Kashykk are proving more difficult to get on board.”

“Not surprising given what happened last time a government made them promises,” Luke countered.

“I know, I know,” she replied. “It would just make it so much easier if more worlds joined and focused on being united than listening to First Order Propaganda.”

She sighed again took a sip of the drink she had next to her.

“Anyway, enough of me. How is Ben?”

Leia noticed the subtle change in Luke’s expression, a shadow of doubt and worry.

“What? What is it?”

“He’s well,” said Luke. “He is beginning construction of his own light saber.”

Luke saw a flash of pride flit across her face.

“He still has those nightmares.”

Her face fell again.

“It’s nothing to worry about Leia. He is strong in the force, very strong, the strongest student I have. It just makes him more sensitive to emotions, that’s all.”

Leia did not look wholly convinced.

“Besides he has no more of a temper than Han,” Luke joked.

Leia could not help but laugh.

“His dreams have been a lot less frequent though.”

“Oh.”

“A few months ago, I found a little girl on Jakku. She was orphaned, scavenging for scraps, but I immediately sensed the force within her. Her power was untapped but there. I bought her back to the academy with me, ever since she and Ben seem to have some kind of connection.”

“Oh?” Leia raised her eyebrow.

Luke shook his head smiling.

“No, not that kind of connection, she’s only a small child…but I can’t explain it. Its as though they are each other’s shadow. He looks after her, she follows him everywhere, but there is something else, something I don’t understand.”

Leia looked puzzled.

“Is it a Jedi thing?”

Luke smiled at her question.

“More of a force thing I think.”

At that point Ben came running into the cockpit.

“Is that mom?” he asked excitedly.

Luke nodded and got up from his seat.

“I’ll leave you to it.”

Ben sat in front of the projection, brushing the hair from his eyes.

“Mom!”

“Hello Ben,” Leia smiled.

“Is dad there?” Ben asked hopefully.

“He’ll be along in a moment. He’s just got back with Chewie from Corellia.”

“I wish I could go with them.” Leia saw the downcast turn to ben’s expression, there was no mistaking the longing in his eyes.

“Aww Ben, your jedi training is too important though.”

“I know a lot now though, like how to control my powers,” he argued hurriedly. “I could help them on the falcon, put my powers to good use. Learn how to be a pilot like dad.”

“You still have a lot to learn. You’re better off with Luke, he can teach you much more than your dad and me,” Leia tried to reason with him.

“I know, I know,” Ben murmured. “But I miss you.”

Ben felt that sinking feeling again, whenever he spoke to his parents and tried to convince them to let him come home.

“Will you come visit soon?”

“Of course, as soon as the treaty with Malastare and Mon Cala goes through.”

Ben just nodded; his shoulders slumped.

“Hey kid!” Just then Han arrived on scene and the subject was diverted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two more chapters to follow.


	3. Chapter Three: Eclipse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben struggles more and more with the dark shadows and voices that haunt him. His fellow pupils look at him with doubt and distrust, mirroring his own, all except Rey.

_Seven years later_

Ben raised his saber and blocked the green blade, the sabers crackling and hissing as they clashed against each other. The hum of the blades filled the air as the other students encircled them, watching, waiting. Hennix spun around, his feet shifting in the dirt, loosening his blade from Ben’s. Ben not wasting any time, turned to face his ‘opponent’. Hennix began to spin his blade, enjoying the appreciative glances from the other students. Luke rolled his eyes at the showmanship. Ben took a defensive stance waiting for Hennix to make a move. Physically they were both matched but knew that he could easily beat Hennix. Luke treated them all the same, but he knew that he was the strongest pupil, strong in the force beyond what they could hope to achive. Snoke who had contacted him had told him as much, told him he had felt his strength across the galaxy. Warned him that others would be jealous, fearful. During lightsaber practice, Ben always reigned it in, not wanting to give the other pupils reason to distrust him more. Everyone except Rey and Tai that is. Ben had grown into his lanky frame, becoming a tall, broad and muscled young man. A few of the pupils could not help but look at him in an appreciative light, letting their eyes linger over his form.

“Let the force flow through you,” said Luke. “Reach out to your surroundings, your opponent.”

Hennix attacked first, saber swishing through the air between them, eratic and showy. Ben always used more efficient, precise strokes. Ben tuned into the force, power surging through his very being. He could see what Hennix would do and blocked his attacks, staying on the defence.

That was when it happened.

‘They’re scared of your real potential, your true self…’ the voice spoke to him.

It had crept in without him realising. He tried to ignore it and carry on.

‘You’ve seen how they react to you, imagine if you showed them your true strength.’

He tried to shake it off but the words stoked an anger in him, anger and fear. His moves became harder, more aggressive as his mind fogged.

‘One false move and they’ll get rid of you…just like your parents did.’

Something inside of him snapped, he just wanted it to stop.

“Shut up!” he screamed and lunged forward on the offensive.

Hennix had just become a dark shadow to him, speaking to him.

‘You have no one.’

Ben was vaguely aware of Rey’s worried face looking at him, he could feel her trying to reach through to him, but it was too late. Hennix stumbled back as Ben’s moves became more aggressive and violent. Ben’s full force was unleashed upon him as Hennix struggled to hold his own. Gasps and murmurs shot through the other pupils. Rey felt her heart race for something was wrong with Ben as she could feel it. She could not identify what it was but it was there and it had taken hold of her friend.

“Ben!” Luke stepped forward.

Ben did not hear him and bought his blade down upon Hennix who stumbled on to the floor. For a moment Hennix looked up at Ben in pure fear, not understanding what as happening. Ben could not even see him, he was fighting the shadow and he had it. He raised his saber to strike.

“Ben! No!” Rey shouted, running forward.

Ben did not hear him as he bought his blade down to strike, but it met resistance. Luke’s saber blocked him. Ben snapped out of the fog he had found himself in. He looked down upon Hennix’s paler than normal green face full of horror and dread, sweat pouring down his face. Ben whirled round, anger painted across his face until he saw the expression upon Rey’s. The other students tutted and murmured, their feelings of fear and disgust reached him through the force, though it was apparent upon their faces. The look on Luke’s face made him grow cold. He deactivated his saber, looking around lost and shamed.

“I’m sorry,” he muttered to Hennix, to everyone before running away.

Rey went to run after him but Luke held her back.

“Let him go.”

−

Ben was late joining them for their evening meal. Nobody said anything but the room went silent when he entered. He could feel their eyes on him, burning him as he heard their whispers and judgements; all except Tai and Rey. He went and sat next to them, keeping his head down. Rey gently placed her hand on his harm.

“Hey kid,” he said softly.

“Are you okay?”

He could feel her concern and affection for him, despite what she had seen of him. It felt like an anchor to him, grounding him to light and belonging.

“Where’s Luke?” he asked.

“He’s meditating in the temple,” said Tai quietly. “He came looking for you earlier.”

Ben placed some food upon his plate but didn’t eat it.

“I know. I just had to be alone.”

“No, you shouldn’t be alone,” Rey retorted firmly, her face fired up and emotional.

Ben gave her a wry smile, making her blush. She grew slightly hot and bothered which seemed to be happening more and more lately. She had not noticed it at first, it had begun to creep in subtely, but now…

“We can’t expect any better, he doesn’t belong here.”

Voe spoke loudly enough for all to hear. Ben took a deep breath, trying to drown out Voe’s words.

“We can’t expect any better, lets face it.”

“Voe shut up!” snapped Tai, using a tone unusual for the gentle mannered Jedi.

Voe stood up.

“Well it’s true, considering who his grandfather is!”

Again there were murmered gasps and whispers.

“Voe, stop,” Tai warned.

Ben stood up slamming his hands on the table.

“My grandfather was a jedi knight!”

Tai shot Voe a warning look, but she ignored him, intent on her path, feeling justified in needing the truth out there.

“Yes he was, until he became Darth Vader and murdered everyone!”

The room fell silent, Ben felt as though he had received a blow to the gut. He couldn’t breathe and could feel the dark shadow pressing in on him.

“No, that’s not true,” he whispered, but the force was telling him something else.

“The pilot bringing our supplies told me, the news is spreading all across the galaxy, Darth Vader was Anakin Skywalker,” Voe continued. “Your mother and uncle are Darth Vader’s children.”

Ben felt nauseated and light headed, trying to process the revelation. Is that why his parents had feared him, had sent him away?

‘They’ve lied to you, betrayed you.’

The voice was right.

“It doesn’t matter who his grandfather was, Ben is his own person, he’s a jedi and our friend,” Tai stood defending him.

“Until he turns on us all, you saw him today.”

“Shut up and leave him alone!” Rey shouted, face red and fists clenched at her side.

Looking back that would always be how he remembered her, fierce, courageous and loyal. The air hummed and throbbed around Ben, the force felt disjointed and wrong. He stumbled out of the room and out into the fresh evening air. How could they not have told him?

“Ben!” It was Rey.

“Leave me alone kid.”

“No!”

Her stubbornness made his mouth crease into a half smile.

“They’re wrong about you Ben, I know you and they’re wrong.”

He looked at the girl in front of him, the girl whose face was so open and earnest and always had been.

“You don’t know everything about me Rey, nobody does.”

“I do.”

She pulled out a red fabric flower from her pocket and held it out to him.

“Remember this?”

He nodded, almost bashfully. It was the flower he had made her when she had been a little girl, to cheer her up.

“Would the boy that made me this, be a monster, beyond help?”

She ran forward before he could protest and threw her arms around him, her head only coming up to his chest. Hugging him she buried her face into his shirt, stifling the tears that had begun to fall. He felt himself relax and hugged her back.

“We’re in this together, right?” she said, her voice muffled, embarrassed that she had begun to cry.

“Always.”

That night Ben lay tossing and turning, his sleep bringing him no respite for his turbulent emotions. The shadows that filled his mind began to take shape, solid and clear. It was Rey, she was older, a grown woman. Her body lay on a rough stone floor, she lay unblinking, unmoving. It couldn’t be. He ran over to her, holding her in his arms. She was cold and stiff, her face expressionless.

“Rey, Rey,” he urged holding her face in his hands. “Wake up, come on…wake up.”

There was no response, she was gone. He awoke with a lurch, sweat pouring down his back. The force had shown him what lay at the end of their path together, death and misery.

−

Nothing was the same after that night. Although Luke spoke to and explained everything to the students about Darth Vader and his turn back to the light, people still viewed Ben differently. The weight of his legacy hung over him, a cloud of doubt and pain. He became more and more withdrawn, avoiding the others, except Rey and Tai. Tai being the good friend he was had sought Ben out after that night, talked to him.

“…you need to be who you are. Everyone does. I don’t need to know your secrets, no one does, unless you want. But you have to realise that people will accept all of you, just as you are. I know you Ben Solo. You’re not as bad as you think you are.”

How could he know that, how could he know that about himself even? He decided that the best thing he could do would be to leave, leave it all behind him and go home. The vision he had of Rey proved even more, he would only bring death and destruction to those he cared about. Rey would be mad but one day when she was older, she would understand. Luke had tried to reassure him, explain why they had not told him of Vader, but it felt too little too late. He had been exposed as being the product of darkness.

Luke grew more and more concerned, feeling the dark side around Ben, the anger and pain within him. A nagging voice told him that Ben was dangerous, unstable. He had been blinded all along, Ben had too much Anakin within him, too much darkness. He’d seen the signs over the years but had always put it down to the turbulent years of growing up, the separation from his parents. Now however… Feeling the need to investigate further he quietly crept into Ben’s hut one night as he slept. He needed to read him, needed to see into his mind. He could not be prepared for what he found there.

−

Rey awoke with a start, something was wrong, terribly wrong. The force was warning her, blazing in her brain like a beacon. Ben! He was having a terrible, horrific nightmare; she could feel it, see it. She had sensed his dreams before, but this was different. It felt like a disease, planted in his mind, growing and spreading. She reached out to him, when she felt someone else there. Luke. Why was Luke there? Then, she felt his fear and revulsion at what he saw in Ben’s mind. He saw only darkness; the light had been blocked from him. Her heart froze as she felt Luke’s intent. This wasn’t right, she had to stop him. Running out of her hut, pushing the curtains out of her way, she charged across the field. She stumbled in the dark, pushing herself back up again. The night was hazy and full of malice. She was almost there when she felt Ben, he’d awoke, he was scared. The hut collapsed in one itself with the cracking and splintering of wood. She stopped dead in her tracks looking at the scene before her. She couldn’t feel Ben, everything was cold and dark. He couldn’t be gone.

She felt as though her heart ripped sending a shock wave through her. She sank to her knees and screamed, pushing outwards with the force as a pain and anger fuelled her. She did not see the other students running towards her investigating the noise. They were thrown back by her as the force ripped through them. Simultaneously a crack of lightning shot down from the clouded sky, striking the temple. The temple began to burn, the wood quickly catching fire as another bolt hit it. She cried out exhausted and shaking, her hands flat against the floor as she took shuddering breaths. She pushed herself up and began to walk towards the temple, there may be people inside still. A presence nicked at her conscious and the sound of falling timber drew her attention to the hut’s wreckage. Turning around she saw Ben climbing out of the wreckage, his saber in his hand. He looked around dazed at what lay before him and saw Rey nearing the temple. A huge surge of relief at seeing him hit her. He began to run to her when another lightning strike hit the temple followed by a huge explosion.

“No!” he cried as both he and Rey were flung backwards.

Fire blazed all around them as they lay winded. Ben was the first to get up and stumbled over to her, kneeling by her side, taking in the sight of the bodies around them, his eyes widening in horror.

“Rey, what did you do?” he gasped.

For the first time she looked around, only then seeing the aftermath. He saw her face visibly pale before him.

“I thought you had died…I don’t know…I didn’t mean to,” Rey began to cry. “What about Luke, where is he?”

Ben looked dark as shadows passed across his expression.

“He…he tried to kill me,” he whispered as though still not fulling believing it. “He’s dead.”

His voice trembled at the betrayal.

“He was right, he was right.”

Rey did not know what he meant and could not read his face.

“Who?” Ben shook his head.

He looked at the bodies of the fallen Jedi, his friends, his ‘family’. He extended himself out in the force, willing to feel their life force, but there was nothing. Rey’s stricken face looked around her in shock.

“They have to be alive, aren’t they?” Ben shook his head, wishing he could numb her pain. “I didn’t mean to; I didn’t mean to.”

She retched and threw up on the ground, clutching at the grass beneath her fingers. Ben rubbed her back, thinking, trying not to panic, embers raining all around them, scorching the grass. He couldn’t go to his mother now, not after what he done; they would all hate him. Only one person would accept him now. Rey though…he couldn’t take Rey to Snoke, but he couldn’t leave her here. He couldn’t leave her to face the consequences, not after what she had done. They had a bond, they always had done and because of that bond she had done what she had done, he was sure of it. Rey would never hurt anyone intentionally. He could not understand what had happened to the temple, had Rey done it, had it been him or was it something else?

As his mind ran over those thoughts, the Verity entered the skies above them. He had forgotten that Tai, Hennix and Voe had been off world, the relief he felt at seeing them was replaced with dread. How could he explain what had happened, how would they ever believe him? Tai maybe, but the others… First of all, he had to protect Rey, should their confrontation go the way he expected it. He crouched down and grabbed Rey by her arms, pulling her roughly up. His warm hands wrapped around her arms steadied and comforted her though she still sobbed.

“Rey listen, we have to get out here.”

She looked blankly at him, the shock of what she had done, of what they had both done was taking its toll. She murmured something that he could not understand.

“The others have returned, they can’t know that you did this,” he spoke quickly. “Go and fire up my ship, Geegee should be on board to help you. I’ll hold them off and join you."

Her face searched his, reading his emotions.

“Ben, explain to them what’s happened, they’ll understand, they’re our friends!”

He wanted to believe her, wanted to hope but deep down he saw the path he had been pushed on.

“I’ll try,” he said. “Now go.”

She carried on just standing there, looking once more at the bodies.

“Rey!” he raised his voice as the Verity landed clear of the fire.

She snapped out of stupor and towards the ship, tears and smoke blinding her. He turned to face his friends as they made their way through the smoke and ruins, looking around them in horror. A small flicker of hope fluttered in chest, maybe they would believe him, maybe Rey was right. Maybe there was something that could still be salvaged.

−

Rey sat crying in the co-pilot seat as Ben ran on board the ship. The fact that he shut the ship’s door told Rey that things had not gone well with the others. She stifled a shudder. He entered the cockpit with tears in his eyes. Everything had fallen apart, he had nothing. He slammed his fist on the control panel making Rey jump. Geegee the droid approached him from behind, with the kind of obliviousness that only a droid can enjoy.

“I could not help but notice the rather large fire at the temple. Is everything all right? Can I assist?”

Ben sighed looking down, trying to steady his breathing. He could feel the pain and confusion in Rey, as well as the horror over what she had done, yet also the faith and surety she still felt in him. He had to get them away from here.

“Everything is fine Geegee, we’re leaving now.”

He sat in the pilot’s seat punching in the controls and guiding the ship off the ground, the fires of the temple growing fainter beneath them the higher they climbed. As he began to leave the planet’s atmosphere, he picked up another ship on the scanners, the Verity. The others were already in pursuit.

“Dammit,” he muttered.

He had to stop them; they could not get hurt too. Swooping the ship around into attack formation, he faced the Verity down and saw them hesitate. They tried to take evasive action but were not quite quick enough as Ben fired two precise shots and disabled their engine. They were stuck now.

“You have not yet entered a destination Master. Can I calculate a route for you? Perhaps you intend to visit home? It has been some time.”

An image of Leia flashed in his mind. He briefly considered taking Rey to her, but Rey’s powers obviously were parallel to his own. Would they fear her too, especially in light of what she had done? Not only that, but the thought of facing Leia after what he had done, what he had to do to Luke filled him with horror.

“I have the route to Hosnian Prime precalculated. Shall I enter it?”

Geegee’s voice drowned out as another one replaced it. Snoke. He had sensed Ben’s distress and reached out to him.

‘It happened did it not? We both thought it might. Skywalker feared you, your strength. He was always small.’

Ben’s mind flashed back to Luke standing over him with his saber activated in hand. Fear and revulsion had filled Luke; Ben had never felt so much despair that his only uncle believed him to be completely beyond help. He had never felt so frightened in all his life, short though it was. Snoke had warned him time and time again, but he had always clung to the hope that Luke would never give up on him. Whatever Luke had seen in him had changed that, and this was a man who had seen good in Vader, the most hated man in all the galaxy. He must truly be a monster.

‘You did not choose it Ben. The Jedi did. Skywalker.’

He knew where he had to go.

“No, not Hosnian Prime. I’m going somewhere else.”

“Ben?” he looked to Rey. “What’s going to happen to us?”

Guilt ripped through him. She was in this horrific situation because of him. Everything he touched turned to pain, to ashes. He had to protect her, if that was the last good thing he did.

“Geegee, input a course to Jakku.”

−

The ship landed on the outskirts of the Niima outpost’s ship yard, dust and sand kicking up as it hit the ground. The engines whirred down to a stop. Ben and Rey looked out at the desolate landscape before them. Junk traders, travellers and merchants filled the market square in the distance. Strange creatures drank from the dirty water hole as the hot sun beat down upon them.

“I know this place, why are we here?”

Rey felt a sinking feeling in her gut. Ben gave her a resigned look, trying to quench his feelings. He knew he could not take Rey to Snoke. He knew that Snoke recognised the dark and the light within him, he knew what Ben was. He could not force that life upon Rey, she was pure light to him, warm and glowing.

“Come on,” said Ben simply.

He got up and went into the rear of the ship, Rey watching him from the doorway. He found a simple canvas bag and began packing it with supplies, the little he could find in the ship.

“Ben?”

He did not reply, pausing only for a moment at the sound of her voice. He exited the ship, gesturing for Rey to follow him. She shuffled behind him off the ship, shielding her arms from the harsh glare of the sun. She followed him as he headed to the market place, looking around her. Everything was so familiar, but she did not want to be here.

“Are we going to stay here?”

“Nobody will find you here,” Ben replied.

Rey immediately picked up on his wording.

“What about you?” she demanded.

Ben didn’t respond and carried on walking; Rey tugged upon his white torn sleeves urgently.

“Ben!”

He stopped and turned to face her, her eyes were watering, a look of betrayal clear upon her face.

“You can’t leave me here!”

“Rey, I have to.”

“We have to stay together,” Rey protested. “You know that!”

Ben sighed, agitated, pushing his temples in frustration.

“I don’t know what I know anymore,” he replied, his voice breaking. “I know that I can’t stay with you.”

“Why?”

“It’s not safe for you, I’m…I’m…”

“You’re Ben and you’re my friend!”

“Luke tried to kill me because of what he saw in me, I’m not going to let you become like me.”

“I killed all of those people,” she cried, beginning to sob.

He drew her away from prying curious eyes to behind a vendor’s tent.

“It was my fault, we’re connected, somehow, I don’t understand it. You lost control because of me,” Ben tried to explain, tried to get her to see.

“If we’re connected, we shouldn’t be apart,” she shouted. “We’re stronger together.”

He sighed and placed his hand upon her shoulder.

“You’re right,” he said, he had to let her believe for a moment.

Rey rubbed her arms, nodding. The shock of what had happened was making her feel cold inside despite the heat. He took her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze, the look of trust she gave him almost broke him. He had to stay strong for her.

After they had purchased food from one of the strange and noisy stalls they retired back to the ship. Rey barely ate anything, just taking small nibbles. Her normally golden skin looked pale and wan.

“Ben?”

“Hmmm?” he looked up.

You know, you’re not what you think you are don’t you?”

The look she gave him was open and honest, but she was mistaken. His own uncle had considered murdering him, he was so far gone. No, she needed to stay away from him. Ben walked patiently until she fell asleep, slumped across the small bunk in the back of the ship. Her sleep was deep, as her exhaustion took over and the security of knowing that Ben was with her. He hated having to do what he knew he must. She could not remember him, could not remember the terrible accident for it was his fault. He did not want her to remember the pain. He reached out, opening himself to the force, stretching his hand out above her. He did not even know if this would work but he had to try. He reached into her mind, slowly and carefully working his way through her memories. He could feel her emotions for each one, loneliness, abandonment, pain, fear, joy and happiness. He cut away the memories relating to him, Luke, the other Jedi, the academy, like a surgeon, precise and accurate. He saw himself as she saw him and the belonging, she felt when she looked at him. For a second his heart wavered until he remembered the deaths at the temple, the vision he had of Rey’s end. He took the memory away. She would not remember him, anything. He wished he could take her somewhere better than Jakku, but he didn’t have time, the others would be hot on his trail. Voe had made it perfectly clear she would not let him escape. Jakku was the only place he could think of, but she knew the place, nobody would think to find her here. A tear fell from Ben’s eyes, wishing things were different. He stroked her face gently, pushing the stray hairs from her eyes.

“Don’t worry, I’ll come back for you sweetheart.”

Rey stirred in his sleep and slowly woke up blinking her eyes as bright sunlight streamed into her small canvas tent. The entrance to the tent rustled in the slight morning breeze. She sat up slowly rubbing her eyes. Wait, where was she? Oh yes Jakku, why did she feel so confused and fuzzy. She looked in her bag next to her and withdrew the cannister, taking a sip of water. She felt a little light headed, her mind foggy. Why am I here?

“Parents,” she thought.

That was right, she was waiting for her family. They would be coming back to get her.

“…come back for you sweetheart…”

words echoed in her mind, easing her mind. She crawled out of the tent taking in her surroundings. Her tent was nestled next to others, a cluster of simple abodes. As she stretched in the morning sunlight, bright and hot already, she spied a large ugly Crolute waddling over in her direction.

“You girl, hurry up and come with me,” he shouted, his voice harsh and gruff. “You’ve got work to do scavenger.”

Scavenger, yes scavenger, that’s what she was. She reached into the tent, grabbing her bag, where a small red flower made of cloth fell out. Picking up the flower as she crouched on the floor, she turned it over in her hands. She couldn’t remember where she had got it, but somehow it felt as though it had significance to her. She stuffed it quickly into her bag as Unkar Plutt called her again, impatiently. Her eyes fell to the staff that lay next to her makeshift bed and picked it up before heading outside


	4. Chapter Four: Sunrise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The throne room scene..or is it?

_Present_

Rey looked around her at the destruction surrounding them. Ben had saved her, had fought by her side as they worked as one. She had never felt more alive, more connected to anyone. Suddenly she remembered the Resistance and their fleeing ships.

“The fleet,” she cried, running to the view finder. “Order them to stop firing, there’s still time to save the fleet!”

She turned to look at Ben, who stepped forward towards the throne, Snoke’s body a broken vessel upon the throne. A knot of tension clustered in her stomach at the look upon his face.

“Ben?” she spoke softly.

Ben took a gasp, still catching his breath.

“It’s time to let old things die,” he stated firmly. “Snoke, Skywalker, the Sith, the Jedi.”

He began stepping towards her, his expression intense and focused.

“…the rebels, let it all die. Rey I want you to join me.”

He stretched out his gloved hand.

“We can rule together and bring a new order to the galaxy.”

His voice had become more urgent, more intense, a flood of desperation began to surge within him. He had to make her see.

“Don’t do this Ben. Please don’t go this way.”

Her voice was heavy with emotion.

“No, you’re still holding on! Let go!” he didn’t want to raise his voice, but he could feel himself losing her.

She was going to slip through his fingers, like everything else he had ever cared about. Rey felt a pain crushing her from the inside out, she fought to contain the emotion that she felt.

“Do you want to know the truth about your parents? Or have you always known?”

It was a last bid attempt on his part, she had to see how much much they had in common. She had to remember. It pained him to see the raw pain and grief on her face; but it was for her own good. She had to grow beyond her limits.

“You’ve just hidden it away, you know the truth. Say it. Say it,” he urged gently.

“They were nobody,” her voice cracked.

“They were filthy junk traders, who sold you off for drinking money.”

Memories and emotions filled Rey’s heart and mind, a spring had broken open. Rey gasped a sob.

“They’re dead in a paupers grave in the Jakku desert, you have no place in this story. You come for nothing, you’re nothing.”

He did not want to be cruel, but she had to see how important she was to him.

“But not to me.”

He opened up her memories even further, she remembered everything. Her eyes widened as her head spun from the onslaught. It was Ben, her Ben, it always had been. He’d tried to protect her, keep her safe all those years ago. She choked back another sob remembering how he had left her.

“Join me.”

His hand hovered in the air between them outstretched, embers falling all around them.

“Please,” he whispered, a pitiful beg and a face full of raw emotion.

She took another heavy breath, trying to choke back another sob that threatened to break free. She stepped forward. Ben held his breath. She stepped even closer, closing the distance between them. She reached her hand out and slowly took hold of the glove covering his hand and pulled it off. He looked at her unsure, trembling inside. Still keeping eye contact, trying to reassure him, she placed her hand gently inside his. His large hand swamped hers, his skin warm and comforting despite the turbulent emotions that raged inside. His large hand swamped hers, and she felt him for a moment stiffen, his breath still held.

“I will take your hand, not Kylo Ren’s hand, but your hand, Ben’s hand,” she said softly.

A tear caressed her flushed cheek. He slowly let his fingers wrap around her hand, still uncertain, still unsure. She took her other hand and reaching up she cupped his cheek, holding his face softly.

“Not because I want to rule with you, but because I want you Ben,” she continued. “Just you.”

“Rey…” he broke with a sob, leaning into her hand. “It’s too late.”

“No! It’s not,” she grew vehement. “Misguided though it was, you were the boy that tried to save me, protect me…after what happened. It wasn’t your fault.”

He sobbed again making his shoulders shake. She could feel years of pain pent up inside of him. She wanted more than anything to hold him, comfort him, but time was against him. She moved her other hand to clasp over his and pulled slightly on his arm.

“It’s not too late, leave with me now!”

He looked down at her and saw all of the love and hope in her face. That strong sense of belonging he only felt and had only felt with her flooded his senses. Yet that image of Rey dead flashed in his mind, making his insides freeze. Rey must have felt it.

“I can’t Rey, I saw…what I saw…”

“Ben, you don’t know that you saw is real,” she said earnestly. “But do you know what I saw, when we touched hands on Ahch To?”

He held her gaze, gulping nervously.

“I saw us, together, helping and training others. We were happy, we can be happy.”

She could feel him cracking from the inside out so she took charge.

“You’re going to leave with me now, okay?”

He nodded, holding her hand even tighter. He knew though that he had to do something for her for his mother.

“The fleet…”

Rey nodded and began to pull him to the control panel when an almighty crack reverberated through them. It seemed as though time had slowed down, they felt themselves rise in the air. Desperately Ben pulled Rey to him, wrapping his arms around her, trying to shield her from whatever was happening. The whole place shook and a deafening bang echoed around them. Smoke and dust choked and blinded them, everything went black.

−

Rey felt warm and trapped, her head was splitting with a throbbing pain. She slowly opened her eyes, trying to make sense of what had happened. Something had hit the Supremacy, that was the only explanation. Only she was not aware that the Resistance had a ship with that much fire power. However, that was a question for later. Ben was draped across her, his arm still holding on to her but he was unconscious. His face looked bruised, his hair covering his eyes. He looked so vulnerable that she felt a momentary panic that he was not breathing, until she felt his steady life force through their bond. Pulling herself from under his arm she knelt at his side, shaking at him gently.

“Ben!”

He stirred slightly.

“Ben, wake up!”

They had to get out of there fast. He awoke with a start, dazed and confused. She felt relief flow through him as he realised that it was her next to him.

“Can you get up?” she asked.

He nodded and slowly pushed himself up, she helped him to his feet.

“Ready?” she asked.

Ben looked around one last time, lingering on the carcass of the man who had manipulated him for so long.

“He can’t hurt you anymore,” she said quietly, holding his arm.

He nodded, he was finally ready. Grabbing her hand they ran from the throne room, together as one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shall I do a little bonus chapter?


	5. Healing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After escaping Crait and the First Order, Leia is faced with some astounding news. Ben speaks to someone he has called out to many times.

Using Snoke’s transport ship, Rey and Ben escaped the wreckage of the Supremacy. They looked in awe at the sight they left behind them. The gargantuan ship had literally been torn asunder.

“What could have done that?” Rey whispered in shock. 

Ben’s expression was one of realisation at the dark truth. 

“It was one of the Resistance ships, a suicide run.”

Rey raised her hand to her mouth in horror. 

“Leia?”

Ben shook his head, a feeling of calm passing over him.

“I can still sense her.”

Rey wondered who had made the ultimate sacrifice for the rebels.

“We need to get out of here,” said Ben, getting back into the pilot’s seat.

Rey in the co-pilot chair nodded. She held his hand, a feeling of warmth and belonging flooding her. He squeezed her hand back, still marvelling that he was there, with her. 

−  
Poe, Finn, Rose and several other rebels made a desperate run at the First Order’s large laser canon; anything to try and help the others escape, buy them some time. Their speed skimmers, falling apart were no match for the dozen Tie Fighters that swarmed in to pick them off. The ground force attempted to lay down fire, kicking up red dust from the salt covered surface. Leia and the others watched with dwindling hope from the small window in the bunker, desperately sending out their distress signal. A new spark of hope shot through them as several of the Tie Fighters on Rose’s tail were picked off by the Falcon that appeared seemingly out of nowhere. The rebels cheered, bolstered by the appearance of their ally.

“Woo yeh!” shouted Finn from his rusty cockpit. 

Two more fighters crashed and tumbled to the ground, spinning chaotically. The giant canon began to open up, a bright orange glow coming from within. The Falcon swooped down low and drew the remaining fighters off from the speeders, unable to resist such a target as the Falcon. 

“She drew them off! All of them!” laughed Finn over his comms.

The Falcon flew over the ridge and disappeared, a trail of Tie Fighters and laser fire behind it.   
−  
The Resistance made their escape at the rear of the base, led by the Vulptex. At first fearing that they had been trapped, they were all astounded when the boulders and rocks blocking their path began to shift and move. As light streamed into the cave entrance, their eyes widened as they found Rey standing ahead of them, arms outstretched. The look of relief and joy on her face as she saw them exit her cave, filled Leia’s heart with warmth. Leia felt the force embrace them, this was it’s will, and there was something else, something she was unsure of.

Finn bounded ahead of the others as the boulders dropped safely to the floor. He embraced Rey in a warm hug, tears fell down her face at being reunited with her friend. The others ran to the ship perched on the outcrop of rock, stopping in surprise when they realised it was not the Falcon. Leia was helped up the rocky slope by Rey.

“It’s a First Order ship,” she stated, looking at Rey quizzically.

“Yes, we stole it,” replied Rey as they reached the ship, the others running past them to board it. 

“We?”

Leia felt a pang deep in her heart, not wanting to dare hope. Could it be? Rey nodded, as a look of serene calm fell upon her expression. At the same time Finn and Poe approached, puzzled looks upon their faces.

“If you’re here, who was flying the Falcon?” Finn asked.

Rey’s face broke into a beaming smile, looking fixedly at Leia. Leia’s hands came up to her mouth, as she began to break down. She knew, she could feel it. 

“What’s wrong?” Poe asked. “What’s happening?”

Leia grabbed hold of Rey’s arm to steady herself. 

“My son,” sobbed Leia. “It was my son.”

Finn and Poe still looked confused but thought questions were best left for a later time. 

Leia and Rey were about to board the ship, when a tremor reached out to them through the force. Luke. Both could feel it, he passed into the force, fading from this world and into the world beyond. There was no sadness, only peace and purpose. Leia could not help feel a tremor of sadness in her soul.  
−  
Ben sat upon the flat rock, high up in the hills of Ahch-to, letting the gentle sea breeze tinged with salt, wash over him. He closed his eyes, the breeze ruffling his dark hair. As he reached out to his surroundings, her felt the rocks, the sea, the soil, the creatures, the caretakers all around him. Light and dark, peace and turmoil, balanced, at peace. He reached out further still, feeling the sky and beyond, the stars. Life itself, an energy greater than anything he had felt before, infinite and complex. 

He let out a deep breath, all of his muscles relaxing. 

“Hello Ben.”

A voice he did not recognise spoke out to him. Opening his eyes, he was surprised to find a young man standing next to him. He looked otherworldly, or rather half of this world, half of another, a manifestation via the force. Surrounding him was a faint blue glow, glimmering softly, like an effervescent veil. The man’s face was kind, yet familiar.

“Who are you?” Ben asked quietly, his heart racing slightly at the spectacle. 

“You know who I am,” the vision said gently, with a small smile. 

Ben’s forehead wrinkled into a frown as he studied the man. Wait, yes, he did. Those eyes so like his mother’s, that slight smile that his Uncle had shared. 

“Grand…father?”

The man nodded, his smile widening. 

“I don’t understand,” Ben’s voice cracked with emotion, with the pain that still lay within him. “I’ve called to you so many times, you never answered.”

Sadness seeped into Anakin’s expression, sadness and a pain Ben recognised. 

“I’m so sorry Ben, you called out to Vader, to the darkness,” he explained. “I couldn’t answer you. Something stopped me, surrounding you.”

Anakin saw the tears pooling in Ben’s eyes, the conflicted emotions dancing across his face. His projection sat next to him on the rock, dark jedi robes pulling around his feet. 

“I was alone for so long.”

Ben wiped a tear away from his face with his black sleeve.

“You were never alone, not really,” Anakin spoke softly, reassuringly. “You just didn’t know until she came for you, she broke through.”

Ben’s face instantly brightened and a shadow of a smile whispered across his lips. 

“Rey.”

“You did what I couldn’t do Ben.”

Ben felt the pain and regret through the force, but also saw it reflected in his eyes.

“You let go of power, it’s intoxicating grip on you, for the woman you love,” he said quietly. “You saved each other.”

Ben looked into the distance, across the horizon of the choppy seas, dwelling on his Grandfather’s words. He knew it to be true, but the regret and loss he felt over some of his actions still tore at his heart. Anger still resided in his heart however.

“You will forgive yourself in time,” it was as though Anakin could read Ben’s thoughts.

“My Uncle, I cannot forgive him for what he did.”

“Not now maybe, you just need time.”

“If I can’t forgive me, how can I forgive myself?” he whispered. 

They were quiet for a moment, both silent. Anakin could feel Ben’s emotions raging within, as though he were reaching a precipice. 

“My Father,” Ben broke down, it had been merely weeks since that fateful day. 

Anakin let him sob, all of the pain and grief Ben had locked away over that action bled out of him. He said nothing as Ben’s shoulders shook with sobs, his groans echoing around them. 

Eventually the tears dried up and Ben could cry no more; he wiped his sleeve across his blotchy face. 

“It will get better,” Anakin said. “You just have to find it within yourself, one day, besides you have help remember?”

Ben looked up at him, his eyes red from his tears. 

“Rey.”

Ben nodded, the thought of Rey filling him with warmth and light.

“Grandfather?”

“Yes.”

“Can you stay with me for a little while?”

His eyes were closed as he took settling breaths.

“Of course. I’ll always be with you.”

−  
The Falcon swept low over the craggy island, as the waves crashed against its coast. Rey looked slyly over at Leia, who looked nervous as she piloted the ship with Poe. Leia clutched at the arm rests to her side, her knuckles white.

“That’s good there,” Rey pointed out, to the same spot Chewie and she had landed on a few weeks ago. 

The Falcon settled with a crunch and a hiss of steam on the flattened rock. After shutting down the engine and checking the ship’s vitals, she spun in her seat to face Leia. 

“Ready?” she asked, fighting down her own nerves. 

She hadn’t seen Ben for two weeks when she and Chewie had bought him supplies. She had not ceased thinking of him since, even though they had connected via the bond. Leia nodded, though her face had paled. 

“I’ll err…stay with the ship for now,” said Poe, leaning back in his chair as he spun round. “Don’t want to make things awkward.”

Leia just nodded, still distracted. Poe still did not know how to feel about coming face to face again, with the man who had previously tortured him. He did not have the confidence that Rey did, but he trusted her and Leia. 

Rey led Leia from the Falcon, Leia using her cane for support on the uneven ground, still weak from the explosion that pulled her into space. They walked along the craggy path, the wind swirling around them, moving the clouds swiftly across the sky. They did not get far, when ahead of them, a tall black clad figure made its way down the twisting path to them. Leia gasped at the sight of him. He’d grown so much, was so different yet so like the little boy she remembered, their little starfighter. 

He slowed down as he got nearer, his expression pained and unsure. Leia stopped, leaning heavily on to her cane, Rey at her side nodded encouragingly at him. His steps faltered as he reached her, dropping to his knees before her, his head bowed. 

“Mom,” he sobbed.

Rey held her breath, wanting to comfort him, but waited instead. Leia didn’t hesitate.

“I know,” she spoke softly, reaching down to lift his chin gently up. 

For the first time in years, Ben and Leia looked at each other, face to face, tears filling both of their eyes. Wasted years full of regret began to fade away, though not forgotten. 

“I’m so sorry…dad.”

Leia began to cry, but pulled him firmly to her, wrapping her arms around him. He cried into her as the feeling of being held by his mother for the first time in a long time overwhelmed him. Leia sank to his knees next to him, both embracing each other, both sobbing, sharing their pain and regrets and grief over Han. Rey wiped the tears from her own eyes and slowly walked away, leaving them to it, this was their moment.  
−  
The day had gone as well as Rey had thought it. Leia had welcomed her son back unconditionally with open arms. They had sat talking for hours, talking and crying. Rey could feel the old wounds begin to knit together, both forgiving each other for their sins. Ben and Leia had eventually returned to the Falcon and for a tense moment, Poe and Ben had stared at each other. Both remembering the pain that Ben had inflicted to find information for the First Order. 

“So…I heard you killed Snoke,” it was Poe that broke the silence.

Ben just nodded, still holding his gaze though his head and shoulders were slightly slumped. 

“So, who am I speaking to now, Ben Solo or Kylo Ren?”

Rey frowned at Poe and moved forward, but Leia held her back.

"My name is Ben.”

Poe looked as though he were deciding something, and briefly looked at Rey and Leia, Rey who had a feral protective look in her eye. He just nodded.

“Well good, glad we got that cleared up.”

After that, Poe relaxed and said nothing more to Ben about his past, he could see the pain and guilt in the man’s eyes. For now, that was enough. 

Night had fallen and the clouds had cleared, leaving the sky painted with a vast array of stars. Leia slept aboard the Falcon with Poe while Chewie, Rey and Ben camped around a fire outside the old stone huts. Rey shivered, rubbing her arms through her dark grey sleeves. Ben noticed and without saying anything, got up and disappeared momentarily into one of the huts. He returned with a blanket and silently wrapped it around Rey’s shoulders. Their fingers momentarily brushed each other, both feeling a shock like electricity pulse through them. Ben sat back down and stoked the fire. Chewie made a soft little growl and looked at Rey with a quizzical look, his head tilted to the side. Rey pulled a face at him and pulled her blanket tighter around her, trying to ignore the fact that her cheeks were blushing.

“I’m going to bed,” growled Chewie, as he stood, his voice low and soft. 

He gave Ben a soft, loving look, one he remembered from when he was a child, one that had always made him feel safe. Ben gave him a small smile back. The look Chewie gave Rey was a different look altogether, she could have sworn he winked at her before leaving the fireplace. She pretended not to notice. 

Ben and Rey looked at each other over the flames, both remembering that night they had first touched hands. That night, that action, that had changed everything, for both of them. His look was similar to then too, one of intense longing and loneliness. Now however, the pain she had seen in his eyes had lessened. He held her gaze for what seemed an age, she felt herself look away and looked once more into the bright orange flames. The warm flames were hypnotic, flickering and dancing in the breeze, sparks floating around it. Ben stood suddenly. 

“I’m tired, it’s been a long day,” he said, his voice smooth like a rich nectar. “I’m going to bed, goodnight Rey.”

She looked up at him as he walked past, already missing him. He paused for a second and gently put his hand on her shoulder. They locked eyes for a second, Ben’s lips parted ever so slightly as though he were about to say something then changed his mind. Instead he just nodded and walked away into the hut he had been residing in.

Rey felt cold again even thought the fire burned and she still wore the blanket Ben had given her. Though they had spoken through the bond, she had not really spoke to him since she had seen him last. She felt almost as though he had put a barrier up with her, though she wasn’t sure why. She pondered over the island, they had both been shown it so many years ago, it was part of their story now. He could heal here, find peace, it was connected to them. She was happy that Ben had chosen to come home, to return to his mother, to begin to make peace with the past but she still felt as though something were missing. She knew what she had to do, but did she have the strength to do it?  
-  
Ben lay on his back, half covered in blankets, looking up at the stone roof of the hut he lived in, head resting on his arms crossed behind his head. Sleep could not find him again. He was exhausted following the emotions of the day, yet he felt lighter than he had done for a long time. Lighter than the day he chose to leave the First Order with Rey, lighter than he had been these few weeks since living here on the island. He knew that his wounds would begin to heal, but it would take time, and as his Grandfather had reminded him, he had Rey. Yet tonight, he couldn’t talk to her, he felt awkward, worried that she would want to leave now she had pulled him back from the brink. He couldn’t make her stay with him whatever her promise to help him had been, he wouldn’t want her trapped out of a sense of duty. She deserved more, and he deserved far less. 

He looked up in surprise as his door creaked open, a slight draft causing his candle to flicker precariously. He tensed and went to reach for his sabre, ever on the alert. His whole body relaxed when he realised it was Rey’s silhouette standing there.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” she whispered.

He pushed himself up on to his elbows, puzzled as to her presence.

“Can I come in?”

Ben nodded, wondering what she was coming to talk about. He reached out with his feelings, but he couldn’t read her, she was guarded. 

‘She’s come to say goodbye.’

He felt an actual physical pain in his chest at the thought of her going, yet it was only what he deserved, exile. She walked slowly over to the bed and sat gingerly on the edge at his side. He looked up at her questioningly.

“Ben,” she spoke quietly, he could detect her nerves. “I’m cold, can I stay with you tonight?”

“Cold?”

“I guess I’m not used to being away from Jakku yet,” she said, she looked almost sheepish. 

Ben looked surprised at her request, and somewhat flustered. 

“It’s okay if you’d rather I didn’t,” she said looking away, beginning to feel embarrassed. 

She made as though to leave but Ben grabbed her hand.

“No, it’s fine, stay,” there was that longing in his eyes again. 

She nodded and kicking off her boots, she climbed into the bed with him as he moved over. 

He lay back and let her settle. Instead of lying on her side of the bed she snuggled up to him, letting an arm wrap around his abdomen. He was so warm and solid beneath her. He felt tense, rigid almost until she rested her head on his chest in the crook of his neck, and she felt him slowly melt beneath her. She nestled herself further into him, luxuriating in his body’s heat, his smell. His breathing began to settle as he placed a hand over hers, interlacing his fingers with hers. 

“Rey?”

“Mmmmm?”

“I understand if you are leaving with my mother.”

Rey frowned and pushed herself up so that she looked down upon his pale face.

“Leave? Well, are you leaving too?”

Ben’s face fell, a shadow falling upon it.

“You know I can’t, not yet.”

“I know, and your mother completely understands,” Rey’s face changed as the meaning behind Ben’s words sunk in. “Wait, you think that I’ll leave you? Do you want me to leave?”

Ben looking up at her, reached up a hand and held her face, stroking his thumb across her cheek.

“Of course I don’t, but you don’t owe me anything, I won’t hold you as a prisoner to a promise you made.”

“Ben…” she leaned closer. “You’re an idiot.”

His brows raised incredulously, but before he could respond, she kissed him quickly and firmly on the lips. His eyes widened for a second, unable to believe that this was happening. His shock did not last long and he was soon kissing her back, his mouth exploring hers, and hers his. The kiss deepened as she let out a little moan and snaked her fingers into his hair, everything felt right, it felt like home, belonging. They broke apart for a moment and just looked at each other, the force humming gently between them. Then the most beautiful thing Rey had ever seen transpired, Ben’s mouth widened into a wide smile. His eyes crinkled and his eyes sparkled, he looked younger, happier. Rey broke into a smile back at him. 

“If you decided to leave here, I’ll go with you, if you want to stay here for now, I stay too,” she whispered, her voice husky from the kiss. 

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Ben Solo, you don’t know what you deserve,” she kissed him tenderly again. “We are in this together remember? You’re not alone anymore.”

“Neither are you.”

Their mouths met again, and soon they were lost to the night and to each other, bonded in body and soul.  
−  
The couple sat upon the flat rock outcrop high up on the peak of Ahch-To, on the floor facing each other. A strong breeze wrapped around them, blowing their hair around in whispy strands, moving the dark clouds across the sky. 

“Are you sure about this?” Ben asked, his black sweater rippling in the wind. 

Rey nodded and handed him his cross guard sabre. 

“It’s time”, she said.

Ben nodded; his face serious as he took the small tool from Rey. Carefully he took his sabre apart until he had the broken, cracked crystal in his hands. He closed his hands over it and closed his eyes. He reached out with the force, with his emotion, feeling the crystal and its energy within. It was hurting, tormented. He pushed back at him, full of anger and hurt. He flinched as it rejected him and opened his eyes again.

“Rey, I can’t.”

His looked dejected, at a loss. Rey reached out and placed her hand over his, letting her fingers wrap around his clenched hand. 

“Try again,” she said gently.

He closed his eyes once more, feeling strengthened by her hand.

“Just breathe,” she whispered.

He felt the force flow through him, felt power ripple through them both, felt the crystal burn in his hand. He focused his breathing, letting go of his doubt. 

“Just breathe Ben,” it was his Uncle’s voice, reaching out to him. 

He didn’t feel disappointment, only warmth and regret, an apology. 

“Let go of your pain Ben, your guilt, just breathe.”

The burning in Ben’s hand began to turn into a cooling, soothing sensation, Rey could feel it too. A sudden pulse of energy threw back with a blinding blue light. 

Ben sat up slowly, feeling somewhat dazed, his hand still clenched around the crystal. Rey knelt at his side, her hands resting on his shoulder with a concerned look upon her face. Ben slowly opened his hand to reveal the crystal; still cracked, but now a pure, clean white. Rey teared up at the look on Ben’s face, a look of wonder and of peace. He smiled back up at her as she threw her arms around him, pulling him to her. As they kissed high on the hill, the sun broke through the clouds, casting the island in a warm golden glow. There was still evil out there and the fight was far from over, but now they were together, stronger, unified, for they had a bond greater than any evil. A cosmic bond made of love and light, a dyad for all time.


End file.
